daemons, genies and a glimpse of god

i heard an idea today. a plausible explanation for artist anxiety, that feeling of discomfort the accompanies an unfinished project, an idea not fully realized. whether it be musical, visual, linguistic, i think we can all relate to that sensation, assuming "we" are somepeople who indulge our creative impulses from time to time.

as we struggle with our desire to flesh out the wispy ideas that float around in our heads, anxiety, the speaker posited, results. this is because of the social stigma of attributing creativity to the individual. that's a lot of weight to carry around on a single pair of shoulders. when things fail to work out as envisioned it's nobody's fault but mine.

those bastions of creative thought, the roman and greek empires, had a different take. creativity was siphoned from the gods, or from daemons (a demigod type entity). these beings enabled a collaborative process that would result in... "stairway to heaven" or some such nonsense.

first of all, that's way cooler. it's more fun. it's less pompous. but, it also resonates with me on an individual level. it seems more akin to the way my process occurs. there were times when i would record little messages to myself on my phone constantly, phrases, word sequences, thematic ideas. all sorts of little nuggets that would come to me at inopportune times had to be stored for later use. at other times i would/will sit down with the intention of creating something, and find myself devoid of inspiration. it's far more comforting to believe that inspiration is externally supplied.

but how to channel this concept? that requires a little more thought, i think.

it occurs to me, before i conclude, to address the fact that its the height of sillyness, logically speaking, to believe this. however, this isn't something like religion. i'm not claiming that some totem animal is commanding that i cleanse the world of methodists. although, on second thought it does function in a similar way. some people use religion as a way to feel secure in their morality. i might use this to feel secure in my creativity. however, unlike religion i acknowledge that i often reason out good creative ideas on my own. i also acknowledge that ideas sometimes slap me in the forehead as suddenly and unexpectedly as bird shit falls on my shoulder.

to be continued... maybe.

thanks liz gilbert on ted. (and al green for the sumptuous background tunes).