mental fortitude

is severely lacking, or at least it was the other day.

whats the sense in having this blog. i think it will be more valuable just to keep a journal going steady.

adios, then.

human unification

some teilhard de chardin notes from his short, apparently 'famous' (stupid cover hype) essay, on human unification.

quick other note, buffy the vampire slayer is just as cornily satisfying today as when i was 12.

this piece was suggesting that humans are inevitably moving towards a unified existance. firstly, in the quite obvious sense that we are taking up more and more physical space on the earth. secondly, toward a spiritual unity. though this is an inevitable process according to de Chardin, we must accept it and look with hope toward the great possibilities it presents for the human race. as always, with de Chardin, this entire concept is entirely dependant upon faith. and, as always, its hard for me to source that faith appropriately; it is much easier for de Chardin, who loves Jesus very much. anyway, the faith part seemed to be referring to the concept that this unity was something predicated by nature, predicated by God. it is natural for us to coalesce and become more complex as a species in the same way that nature becomes more complex. intelligent design, sigh, forever a wrench in the cogs. despite the reliance on this assumption, the theory is very interesting. i particularly enjoy the way it suggests an appreciation and envy of the complexity of nature; we should desire such a complexity, but more importantly harmony, in humanity as a whole. the essay, while short, seems to point towards further developed empathetic capabilities and connections between humans.

as an aside, this raised some interesting questions about people i care about and their perspectives. hopefully i remember those questions and/or points of discussion. i should also do some more de Chardin reading.

dude, don't forget these words

Words That Don’t Exist in the English Language

Gigil: (Filipino) The urge to pinch or squeeze something that is unbearably cute.

Culacino: (Italian) The mark left on a table by a cold glass.

Sgriob: (Gaelic) The itchiness that overcomes the upper lip just before taking a sip of whisky

L’esprit d’escalier: (French) The feeling you get after leaving a conversation, when you think of all the things you should have said. Translated it means “the spirit of the staircase.”

Pari-pari and Saku-saku: (Japanese) Hard-crispy verses Soft-crispy, i.e. a rice cracker versus fried chicken

Stam: (Hebrew) An agreement out of amusement and frustration that something doesn’t have a satisfactory answer among those talking.

Forelsket: (Norweigen) The euphoria you experience when you are first falling in love.

Manja: (Malay) A characteristic or action for affectionate and pampered/being pampered.

Dupey: (pronouced Duh-Up-Pee; Jamaican Patwa) A bothersome ghost or apparition.

Waldeinsamkeit: (German) The feeling of being alone in the woods.

Meraki: (Greek) Doing something with soul, creativity, or love.

Pochemuchka: (Russian) A person who asks a lot of questions.

Pena ajena: (Mexican Spanish) The embarrassment you feel watching someone else’s humiliation.

Ilunga: (Tshiluba, Congo) A person who is ready to forgive any abuse for the first time, to tolerate it a second time, but never a third time.

Tsundere: (Japanese) A person who is initially cold and even hostile towards another person before gradually showing their warm side over time.

Yandere: (Japanese) A person who is initially very loving and gentle to someone before their devotion becomes destructive in nature, often through violence.

its almost that time...

new years resolutions.

they are pretty fucking stupid. i say, if you have to wait until some socially predetermined date to examine your life and decide if you are unhappy with parts of it, you're a nit. obviously, critical examination of yourself is great. just don't wait around to do it.

in any case, i seem to do it every month and get all bummed out. since i no longer have a mustache, i feel as though this is the perfect time to re-examine my goals for the semester and see how i've done. i already know it's not gonna be pretty.

sigh. well, i did get SOME volunteer hours in at the ecology lab, but not enough. i don't have a coop job for the winter. i didn't exercise as much as i wanted to. i didn't read enough. i didn't write enough songs. i didn't write enough. i didn't keep in touch enough. i didn't go back to st catharines, fuck.

yikes, that was depressing. uh, i need some positives now so i don't cry.

i... made lots of new friends! yay! i made a special friend! yay! er... i... did everyone's dishes all semester? fuck. i got nothing else. surely some awesome stuff happened. awesome fun stuff. as far as self improvement goes... fuck once more.

some rough lyrics

Call it what you will
I can't think without the pills
I die a little too fast
fall asleep on the floor at last

I left notes in all your sweaters
just in case you're under the weather
I left notes in all your sweaters
your sister said you'd never get em

a bird in hand,
struggles less than a flock in a cage,
whistled to my horse to hit the sand,
just to try and get behind your face,

I returned all your cassettes,
turned to leave your cheeks were wet,
I returned all your cassettes,
your sister said we'd never met

Meditations on Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Pt. 1

Pirsig contends that classicism and romanticism are dichotomous. As a preface to my questioning of this, I'll admit that I'm probably splitting hairs; the dichotomy serves his end in the book. My issue, however, lies in the fact that both of these paradigms admitted facets of the other as useful. Romantics didn't entirely dismiss the notion of the world as ordered and controlled, they simply placed higher value on a more imaginative interpretation of the world. I'm certain aspects of romanticism were functional in classicism in some way also.

When I think further on the subject, it becomes clear that my issue might actually be with the two characters in the book that represent these different views. The author and his son-in-law John seem too diametrically opposed at some points. It simply seems to me that they are very one dimensional in their mental approaches, but I grant that I'm only 100 pages into the book. My irritation with this might also be caused by some naivety; certainly, there are many people in the world who think very restrictively. Using not one track mind to arrive, but always choosing the same vehicle (a motorcycle? :S blegh).

Other than that entirely useless gripe, I've enjoyed the book so far. Some interesting mind doodles on sense of place, personal relationships, stubbornness, and technology. Now, I should probably read some school related material instead.

of Love

When love beckons to you, follow him

Though his ways are hard and steep.

And when his wings enfold you yield to him,

Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.

And when he speaks to you believe in him,

Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is for your growth so is he for your pruning.

Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,

So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.

He threshes yout o make you naked.

He sifts you to free you from your husks.

He grinds you to whiteness.

He kneads you until you are pliant;

And then he assigns you to his sacred fire, that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.

All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,

Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,

Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.

Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;

For love is sufficient unto love.

When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."

And think not you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.

Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:

To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.

To know the pain of too much tenderness.

To be wounded by your own understanding of love;

And to bleed willingly and joyfully.

To wake at darn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;

To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstacy;

To return home at eventide with gratitude;

And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

Kahlil Gibrahn